悲しい ><"


~Assalammualaikum , hyee

You know what ? Sometimes , I felt really terrible for just being .. M E :) I hate the way I feel , the way I talk about something , the way I look , the way YOU look and the way PEOPLE look at me . I felt really isolated and small , like a tiny protozoa . Nobody cares , nobody understand .. Just like that plain , tiny protozoa .

Hating myself is another way of having fun , you know ? I can see my very own disrepute . So hate-able by all . Arr , I am starting to get ridiculous . Actually , I want to tell something in this entry update .

I have read an update , and of course it is somebody's . I don't know why , but my guts tell me that the update is about me :D Maybe I am 'perasan' or something . Dunno . So that's why I want to write it here . So that YOU and I can be clear once again .

I have perfectly no intention of hating you or anything . I just want to share what I felt with people around me . I never thought that it would turn out to be misunderstood , especially by YOU . And I want you to know that I am fully sorry about that . Truly , truly , truly sorry . I am such a fool for saying those things . Even though I have no intention behind it . Gomene 1000x

I think it must be frustrating for you to be one of the people around me , right ? I'm a jerk , foolish minded , selfish , grumpy , jealous , little minded girl ! Even I get angry with myself all the time . Grr , hate ME . Hate me so much I could just punch myself right in the face . Haishh ..

I really really hope that you will accept me once again . I just act foolish around you , that's all .

Maaf 1000x 
Sorry 1000x  
Mianhe 1000x  
Gomene 1000x 

 //Ireally-reallyhopethatIwillnotactfoolishagain

~Wassalam , xoxo


Wake Up



~Assalammualaikum , and bigg hye

It has been very long since the last time I update this 'thing' . Well , I have been very busy this week [ what , are you the PM or something ?!! ] Got many homework to be done , exercises to be completed and co-curricular activities at school . So , I have so little time to update here and speak about my drab life . Well , nobody cares ;) So , what ?

Today I just finished my geography and history homework . Man , history makes my hand froze . My finger bent because of writing too much . So what , right . If I want to be a tip-top scorer , than I'll have to bare those little sacrifices . I've been working hard since this year has started . I don't why , but I just do . Maybe I changed because I am getting more mature or something . Well , I don't know really :D

Mm , you want to know something ? I signed up for my school cross-country competition . It just did . You don't believe me , fine . Who does anyway . I don't believe it myself either ;) Anyway , I don't mind about participating the competition . At least I have the experience joining it . The last time I joined this kind of activity is at my elementary school , year five . Woww , nearly four years ago ! Hahha , since I'm not really interested in participating , I rarely care about it ;D But now I do care .

I like the teachers . They're okay so far . As long as we behave ourselves , they're fine :DD Hahh , this coming Monday , we have wake-up test for form threes . It consist of all the eight important PMR subjects . Hm , I don't know whether I am prepared or not [ you're not because you're still sitting in front of this laptop . so now go away and pick a book to study ] ?

So , maybe that's it for now . I'm going to be a bookworm for this upcoming wake-up test [ two days only , ahh ?!! ] :D Hahha , whatever . By the way , good luck to all SMKUR's form three students for this test . Chiao ><"
Miss you soo much
~Wassalam , xoxo